Prepare yourself for AWESOME flavor

So my friend Sanchez has a cat that keeps ramming its tongue into its own butt. I dislike cats, so I surprised myself by finding this activity to provide some semblance of worth to the species as a whole. Self analingus is hilarious.

All this ass-licking worried her so she called the vet.

She's been told that the animal may need to have somebody "express its anal glands". What the hell?

Paint a picture of a cat asshole composed entirely of dots?

Have Henry Rollins over to the house to berate the the offending sphincter?

Perhaps Phillip Glass can compose another shitastic minimalist piece worthy of conveying the stoic demeanor of a cat's ass.

I did a little research and found that "expressing the anal glands" is a simple as sticking your finger up it's butt and gently pinching what would be a buttocks on a person with your thumb. If done right, a rooster-tail of foul scented discharge worthy of the fountains at Bellagio's will magically appear. Just in time for the holidays too.

Have fun fingering the cat Sanchez. And a Happy New Year.

Fucking filthy cats.