We're 12, poop-faces!

"You are a filet of poop in fart sauce. You are a grumbly, gaseous concert of borborygmus followed by simultaneous eructation and firehose diarrhea."

- Sanchez


"Don't make me get all menstrual on you."

- Lovey

Trolling for vampires

Today’s tag line is a little known euphemism for menstruating. Now you won’t need to sit through old episodes of “In Search Of…” to find this gem. Thanks are unnecessary. Like Leonard Nimoy, I aim to please.

For you literary buffs out there, that paragraph you just finished reading is an excellent example of rather subtle foreshadowing.

You may ask, “How so, Steve?”

I may answer, “My name isn’t Steve, you fucktard”

…but I would surely follow the rebuke by explaining that today’s blog involves my clever exploitation of the power of the alphabet to comic effect. While this wouldn't explain the foreshadowing, what happens next will!

Here are some euphemisms I found or heard that made me laugh:

“Assumed room temperature”: Dying

“Special Delivery”: giving birth to a handicapped child

“Negotiating the release of the brown prisoner”: defecating

Or this gem from my Australian friend at work:

Struth: an expression of disbelief, shock or horror – kind along the lines of crikey but for something quite serious.

Ex.)

Woman: “The dingo ate my baby’

Man: “Struth!”

Lovey Sunshine: “Get me a beer you fucking cry-baby”

Woman: “The dingo also drank the beer”

Lovey Sunshine: “Struth!”

Now to be honest, I added myself to that last example in a vain attempt to make this entry even funnier. As if that’s possible.

There MRS BIG-FONT MEXICAN, I updated my damn blog…are you mucho frigg’n happy?!??!?!?!?!!

That last sentence was euphemism for “10-4 Sanchez”.